Stop, Hey, What's That Sound?

Everybody look what's going...WTF?

Is that the roof of your truck dragging on the ground?!?

Oh the Ottoman Obscenity!

Why, God, why?!?

His Baaark Is Worse Than His Bite

Japanese actress fleeced.

Are You Bored?

Nothing to do? Stuck in a small town?

Look a little like that kid from Almost Famous,

only you're a girl and you fell out of the ugly tree,

hitting every branch on the way down?

Why don't you try robbing a house?

Oh.

That's why.

Emo: A Plague On Our Modern Youth

Rarely does a news report reduce me to tears, but this really got to me. It made me weep for the future...of journalism. Mostly, though, I was having trouble breathing and I couldn't see through the tears because I was laughing so hard. I recognize most of the "reference" materials they used to make this report. I recognize them because they are from joke sites posted on the Internet.

Let this be a lesson: Google is a tool, and like any tool there is some level of training required to use it properly, otherwise you're going to end up looking like a jackass.

Boston Bomb Scare UPDATE

Scott Ott of ScrappleFace has uncovered details of some of the other "guerrilla marketing" techniques that Turner Broadcasting was considering as part of its ad campaign for its show Aqua Teen Hunger Force, and I think it will put to rest any doubts that the electronic "billboards" were designed to provoke a terrified response.

Intel Is REALLY Important

In fact, some say it's more important than cancer.

Join us later for a special press release where Bill Gates

announces that Vista is more important than AIDS...

A Message to the City of Boston: MORONS!

So yesterday there was a bomb scare, which is to say that some people were scared that there might be a bomb. There was no threat called in, and no terrorist chatter, just a bunch of small LED billboards depicting one of the Mooninites from Aqua Teen Hunger Force flashing away the middle finger. These things had been hung magnetically from bridges, on the sides of buildings, etc. for weeks. Boston officials shut down the city and sent in the bomb squads, and now are launching an active media campaign to deflect accusations that they're a bunch of idiots for running to the media about their "terrorism" scare by accusing Turner Broadcasting (owners of Cartoon Network) of grossly irresponsible behavior for the electronic equivalent of putting up posters.

I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt, so I tracked down some pictures of the offending billboards. Oh my god it's a bomb!!! (I'd better stop before I have a sargasm)

So what is Aqua Teen Hunger Force? It's hilarious. ...and stupid. Really dumb. No one should ever admit in public that they watch this show. TiVo it in private and chuckle away at the antics of Master Shake, Meatwad, Frylock and Carl from next door, or buy the Aqua Teen Hunger Force DVDs.

R Kelley: Insipid Moron or Comic Genious?

You be the judge.